Exorcist Quest

From questden

Exorcist Quest
by The Archivist and k0bold

Carson Whitetooth, professional Starving Exorcist, does battle with various undead in the sleepy little town of Dawnsbury USA, which is currently experiencing the rough equivalent of a zombie apoclaypse.

Also, at least one of the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse wants to get into his pants.

Written by The Archivist, illustrated by k0bold.


The sort of people who'd be called "Paladins" in any other setting worth its salt, Exorcists are the divinely ordained champions of the Four Horsemen (and Hades), who mostly exist to fight Undead and the occasional follower of The Old Gods. There are multiple types of Exorcist, mostly depending on which Horseman the Exorcist worships and what they're good at. Carson Whitetooth, the protagonist, is a Starving Exorcist, known for their affinity for bare-handed combat and improvised weapons. Some other types involve Glorious Exorcists, who were originally designed as the ultimate martyrs before their more potent abilities in Belief were discovered, and Musketeer Exorcists, supernaturally potent in both melee weapons and firearms.

Carson Whitetooth

The protagonist and viewpoint character, Carson is a Starving Exorcist, and therefore specializes in fisticuffs and improvised weapons. He's been assigned by his temple to deal with the Spirits infesting Dawnbury, but rapidly discovers it's a bigger job than he'd expected. Is currently attempting to seduce Famine and succeeding with flying colors.

The Four Horsemen

The de facto head deities of Exorcist Quest's universe, The Four Horsemen run Heaven, keep the universe running smoothly, and choose Exorcists as their hands in the physical world. Having usurped their position from the Old Gods, they also work tirelessly to ensure no remaining followers cause too much trouble through means such as, say, re-summoning the Old Gods from their prison in Hell or anything crazy like that.


The oldest sister of the Four Horseman, Conquest rides the White Horse, bears the Crown of Command, and wields an oversized crossbow as her weapon of choice. Rather no-nonsense, she wants to see the madness in Dawnsbury ended as soon as possible, and would probably work Carson to death if she didn't have Death and Famine reining her in. A fan of classical literature and avant garde music.


The second oldest of the Four Horseman, War is rather stand-offish and mostly just respects physical strength and the ability to do well in combat. She rides the Red Horse, and bears the Sword of Destruction as both her Godly Item and weapon of choice. She also modified it to be capable of firing shotgun shells. A bit of a closet nerd, she spends her off time playing first person shooters and consuming far too much coffee.


The second youngest of the Four Horsemen, and technically speaking, Carson's boss. She rides the Black Horse and bears the Scales of Wanting as her Godly Item, which can be turned into a massive war pick when she needs to fight. She respects Carson for his hard work, and seems to be falling for his rugged charms. She enjoys pop music, sappy rom-coms, and harlequin romance novels.


The youngest of the Four Horsemen, Death takes her job very seriously... and not much else. She rides the Pale Horse and bears the Scythe of Severing as her Godly Item and weapon. Hades rode behind her on "Bring Your Brother To Work" day. She spends most of her free time getting stoned off of her tits and watching cartoons, but is always sober whenever she's actually working.


The younger half-brother to The Four Horsemen, he's the ruler of Hell and in charge of resurrecting you after you die. Has not actually appeared yet.


The resident bad guys of this world, Spirits are what happens when someone dies with enough metaphysical baggage that they can't pass on properly, or they escape the afterlife and wind up back in the real world. Usually taking on a form and powerset somewhat related to their cause of death or reason for becoming a Spirit, they tend to be dangerous opponents when sufficiently powerful.

Spoiler.gif This article contains spoilers! You were warned.

The Boogeyman

Formerly Daniel Waters, an 8 year old son to fire-and-brimstone religious parents, his fear of going to Hell combined with a brutal death resulted in the creation of The Boogeyman. Due to the youth of The Boogeyman, it couldn't use its full powers, and was easily defeated by Carson.

Bloody Mary

Formerly Mary Washington, a serial killer who died in 1962 and was promptly sent to Ira, the Wrath circle of Hell, she escaped with the opening of the Hellgate and set up shop in the Dawnsbury Boardwalk's funhouse. Carson shattered her mirrors, and then her, sending her back to Hell.

The Owner

Marcus Witherspoon, the former owner of the Dawnsbury boardwalk before his death, was consigned to the Ferris Wheel after his death, trapped within and completely amnesiac about his death. With counselling from Carson, he managed to pass on, freeing his spirit and releasing him to Heaven.

The Minotaur

Percy Pennyapple was one of the ride operators in the Dawnsbury Boardwalk before his death. Now he haunts the rides as an apparition of twisted metal and rage, The Minotaur. Currently not yet exorcised.

Quests by The Archivist

TGchan: Devil Quest | Deity Quest | Hellbound Quest | Just a Dating Sim | Space NEET

Collaborations: Exorcist Quest | Arcana Quest

Quests by k0bold

TGchan: Kobold Beat 'em Up

Collaborations: Exorcist Quest | Nice Save